by Kendra | Mar 16, 2015 | Blog Posts, Divorcing Your Divorce
Procrastination is the Thief of Time. It makes easy things hard and hard things harder. The next thing you know, that easy thing has turned into a huge burden.
How many times do you say, “I don’t have time” or “There’s not enough time in the day to get everything done”? In my case, I say these things, uh, every day. 🙁
Today I realized that TIME is not the problem, I’m the problem. The truth is that there’s always enough time if we don’t befriend the thief, Procrastination. He seduces us with momentary pleasure and blinds us to the PAIN we’ll suffer when we needlessly delay. He lies to us about the ultimate COST to us in the future when we put something off. Procrastination cozies up to you and whispers in your ear, “You can do that tomorrow, no problem.”
Tomorrow rolls around and you put it off one more day. Then you do it again, and again, and again, and the next thing you know it’s two months later and you completely forgot exactly what it was you were supposed to do. Or, you wait until the last minute and you have to drop everything else, be totally stressed out, and operate on little sleep. It’s hard to do anything, or do it correctly, when you’re irritated and sleep-deprived. Procrastination drives some people to drink or overeat. It can make one less than pleasant to be around.
One day you’re carrying around a marble in the palm of your hand. All you have to do is take 1 minute to put the thing away in its place. It’s quite simple, but you don’t do it. Then you wake up one day and find you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.
Before we procrastinate, count the cost. Procrastination is a liar and a thief. Just Do It!!!
Or, as we southerners like to say, “Git ’em done!”
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by Kendra | Mar 12, 2015 | Blog Posts, Divorcing Your Divorce
“My life would be perfect if I just had .”
If you’re like me you’ve already filled in that blank, and you’re tired of waiting. Let’s face it, waiting can be excruciating. We want what we want, and we want it NOW!!!
Here’s what I was thinking about this morning. God plants desires in our hearts, which He—and only He—will fulfill.
Because I’ve got an innate desire to control and make sense of my circumstances and the world around me, I tend to get carried away with filling in the details. I clutter God’s perfect plan with my details and then find them suddenly wiped away, like a cosmic eraser across my life, leaving me feeling helpless and hopeless.
The Good News is that God’s plans are written in indelible ink! They’re engraved on the palm of His Hand. God’s plans never change. It’s only the misguided details that I came up with that change.
The antidote to the worry of waiting is to wait expectantly: Wait to see what God will do, while believing that He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you.
The future might not look like you think it will look, but rest assured that’s because it will be much better, far beyond your wildest dreams! You may be asking for a simple stone, a pebble would make you happy, but God not only is going to provide you with bread instead, but with a ten-course meal served at the most lavish banquet, the likes of which you can’t even fathom.
I have an image of children at home on a sunny summer day, searching and searching for a pebble they will never find.
Why get frustrated and waste their time trying to find it, when they could be outside playing, laughing, running through the grass barefoot, eating ice cream and riding bicycles? Dad will be home with their surprise, but He’s not home just yet. Let’s have fun and don’t worry about. Dad always comes through!
“Why are you afraid, you of little faith?” Jesus is in the boat right next to you, in the midst of the storm, and He will instantly stop the emotional storm raging inside you in an instant if you let Him. There’s no need to panic.
The harder we try to control an outcome, the more we interfere with God’s plans. Step out of the way and let Him work!
The more the children call Dad and interrupt him at work, the longer it will take him to get his work finished and come home with their surprise.
When Abraham and Sarah took matters into their own hands when they thought they couldn’t possibly have a child in their old age, they caused a disaster from which mankind is still suffering the consequences. Once they stepped back and let God work, the seemingly impossible happened: Sarah gave birth to Isaac, and from his lineage was born The Savior!
What good does it do to be anxious and worried over something we can’t change?
Go outside and play!!! The house is clean and ready, the table is set, it’s time to enjoy the gorgeous summer afternoon!
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by Kendra | Nov 30, 2014 | Blog Posts, Divorcing Your Divorce
You can say that again!
This weekend I’ve been struggling with two sick dogs who could have cancer at the worst, liver disease and an immobilizing lipoma at best. I’ve been beside myself worrying about them, especially since my beloved cat of 12 years, Dollie, passed away a few weeks ago.
I can’t take losing my precious dogs.
I’ve been researching home-cooked dog food, since neither of my dogs are eating. If they do eat, they sometimes get sick to their stomachs. I ran across a wonderful statement from a vet that said that as a dog owner, I need to take care of myself and enjoy the good moments with my dogs, which will in turn will relax them and make them feel better, and they need that for their improvement and well-being.
My stress and worry and depression was making it harder on them.
After making myself crazy reading for hours about recommended diets and supplements and trying to understand what was happening, I finally went to the store, bought some organic/preservative-free ingredients, and came home and tried yet another meal that they may or may not eat. I was so stressed out by the time I got home, I could do nothing more than acknowledge that I was doing all I could do. I had to quit spending hours on end worrying and researching and trying to control a situation that is largely out of my control.
To my absolute joy and relief, they ate!
Now, we’ve already had a couple set backs, but we’ve taken a few steps forward too, so I’m thanking God for those little victories!
I can choose to focus on the problems and the depression, and make things worse for my dogs and me, or I can do what I can do, let go, let God, and enjoy my sweet dogs right now.
Today I’m choosing to live in the here and now and not worry about tomorrow, or the next day, or the next week, or month or year for that matter. No sense in stressing over tomorrow—it’s not here.
God gives me all that I need to get through right now, and, despite the turmoil, I’ve got so many blessing to be thankful for.
I will focus on God’s Blessings and thank Him for another day! I hope that you will too!
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by Kendra | Sep 26, 2014 | Blog Posts, Divorcing Your Divorce, Features
I wanted to share with you some AWESOME advice from my friend, Trina Bresser Matous, who is my featured guest blogger today. I personally needed to read this post today because my procrastination, my “tendency to not be early” and my inability to say “no” cause me TREMENDOUS STRESS. So, without further adieu, here’s Trina!
Too soon … way too soon. Every year my neighbor’s maple tree started turning color – which I love – in August – which I didn’t love at all. The tree was a reminder far earlier than I wanted that summer was coming to an end. I’d see the first tinge of red in mid August, while every other tree was still green. By the end of September, when most trees were just starting their color transition, this tree had lost most of it leaves.
Then, one year, the tree didn’t turn color in August. A fluke, I thought, but the next year, the tree again didn’t turn color in August. Curious, I asked my neighbor. It turned out he was using a weed trimmer to cut the grass around the tree. Not only was the grass trimmed, the bark at the bottom of the tree was repeatedly gashed. Loss of the tree’s protective bark meant the mid-summer heat and low rainfall caused a higher level of stress on this tree than a healthy tree experienced. Who knew?
Once my neighbor allowed the bark to grow as it should, the tree wasn’t stressed and was able to retain its green leaves longer.
That got me to thinking about stress. I wondered if there were any similarities between the tree and me. And I realized there were. I experience stress. Some of it, like the summer heat and lack of rainfall, is beyond my control. Yet other stress, like gouging the tree’s bark, is within my control. Could I, like the tree, flourish better in the circumstances I found myself in if I minimized the controllable stress? The answer seems to be yes! Here are three areas I unduly add stress to my life.
- Procrastination I hate to admit it, but I am a procrastinator. I often seem to put off what needs to be done until only days or even hours before it needs to be done. My quick assessment of the time something will take is always an underestimation. When I finally get to absolutely having to get the project done, I generally haven’t left enough time. The first step to changing just about anything is recognizing that a problem exists. As I recognize my procrastination and more importantly, the resulting stress, I can begin to take action. Knowing I work best under deadlines, I now break projects into parts and set a deadline for each part. I have also begun to allow more time than I think I need. Finishing ahead of schedule is much less stressful than being behind!
- Leaving Late I am almost always late. I have joked that I was born two weeks late and have never caught up. But the joke has serious stress consequences. More than once I have driven like a maniac trying to shave two or three minutes off my travel time so I won’t arrive quite as late as it looked like I would be. Why am I late? Generally for a combination of two reasons. First, I underestimate (again!) how long it will take me to get ready. Second, I try to squeeze one more task into the few minutes I have before I have to leave. To combat the first, I plan to leave at least 10-15 minutes earlier than I think I need to. This gets me moving earlier and leaves the bit of margin I need to walk out of the house with enough time to arrive on time. Dealing with the second is a bit harder as I just need to recognize when I need to be leaving and leave without adding the one more thing. It helps to know my tendency and decide in advance that I don’t want to deal with the stress of leaving late.
- Saying Yes I used to think it an honor to be asked to help with whatever someone was asking me to help with. I’d fill my time with all kinds of tasks and leave no room for getting to the things the Lord was calling me to. I’ve learned that saying no is not a bad thing and I don’t need to feel guilty about saying no. I still love to help out when I can, yet am much more willing to say no.
How about you? Are there stresses in your life that are within your control? Can you make a few adjustments that will remove some of your stress? Are there ways you can add some margin to your life?
Trina Bresser Matous
By Trina Bresser Matous
Meet Trina: Trina has a Masters of Arts in Christian Ministry from Ashland Theological Seminary and is a passionate Bible teacher and writer. For over 20 years, she has shared Biblical truths in compelling and memorable ways as a Bible study leader and a member of the Restorative Prayer Team at her church. Her three week, 2,400 mile trip through Turkey in a rental car visiting historic sites including Istanbul, Ephesus, Cappadocia, Haran and Antioch, as well as two trips to Israel’s holy sites bring reality to Trina’s teaching and writing. Additionally, Trina is an avid birder, loves to cook, travel, work in her garden, and knit, especially lace. She and her husband live in Grosse Pointe Park, Michigan.
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I Love Trina’s New Release! Paul’s Letters to the Early Church (Click here to see my book review)
Reading and studying Paul’s letters can be a daunting task. Verses often require a great deal of study, prayer, and meditation in order to gain an adequate understanding. But don’t lose heart! God reveals His Word to those who earnestly seek Him (Jer. 29:13). Paul’s Letters to the Early Church is designed to assist you in your relationship with God, help you understand difficult passages, shed new light on familiar verses, and gain an appreciation for statements made within the confines of ancient cultural practices. You will learn about Paul and his intense desire to see both Jews and Gentiles not only know about the work of his Savior, Jesus Christ, but also personally experience the love, grace, mercy, and redemption offered by the Father through the sacrifice of the Son. As you learn more about the history and purpose of each verse, you will find yourself growing in wisdom and knowledge.
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by Kendra | Sep 22, 2014 | Blog Posts, Divorcing Your Divorce, Video Blog
Remember this tale from Mother Nature the next time you get worked up into a panic. The secret is so simple, but it’s the opposite of what we feel like doing.
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by Kendra | Sep 14, 2014 | Blog Posts, Divorcing Your Divorce, Video Blog
Straight from the horse’s mouth! From a Judge who’s heard it all, here’s some priceless advice to help you avoid emotional turmoil, alienating family and friends, and spending unnecessary time and money litigating.
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