When I was a “baby lawyer,” my boss told me that he was going to “let” me go to Court for him Friday morning to argue a very important motion against one of the biggest and baddest family law attorneys in Memphis.  I was thrilled!

I spent the entire week researching and outlining my argument.  I combed through the client’s entire file several times, and I carefully studied the relevant Tennessee Rules of Civil Procedure and annotations.  I presented my winning argument to the Senior Partner of our law firm (my boss), and he assured me that I would do a lovely job in Court on Friday!

The night before the motion hearing, instead of going home and being with my baby (which I should have done, because now my baby is 6’8″ and 20 years old), I stayed late at the office, putting the finishing touches on what I believed to be a spectacular presentation.  I just knew that the Judge would see how brilliant my legal argument was and that, of course, I would win the motion for our client!

Friday morning I got up early, put on my best lawyerly black suit and matching pumps, went to the Courthouse, and bounded into the packed Courtroom, eager to show my intelligence and to impress the Senior Partner, not to mention the Judge, the other big whig attorney, and anyone else who happened to be in the Courtroom that day.

The clerk called the docket, and, luckily, my case was  the first case on the docket. I thought, “That’s great!  I will get to demonstrate my oratorical prowess in front of everyone, AND I will get this hearing over and done with so that I can go back to the office and relax for the rest of the day after my big win.”

A few minutes later I was standing behind the podium, facing the Judge, who was perched upon the beautiful marble dais (did I mention that some major motion pictures have been filmed in the stunning Shelby County Tennessee civil courthouse at 140 Adams Avenue?  It is picture perfect!).  I barely got the words, “Good morning, Your Honor” out of my mouth, when his honor erupted and bellowed, “Ms. Armstrong, why shouldn’t I grant his motion?  There is NO EXCUSE for your client’s behavior!!!!!”

I was suddenly about 10 inches tall, and envisioned myself climbing under the counsel table and remaining there until EVERYBODY (and I mean EVERYBODY!!!) left the Courtroom.

He then went on and on and on, until finally, and this was somewhat of a relief (but not much of one), he began vociferating in the direction of the other attorney.

The entire assault of my pride (remember, pride cometh before a fall) ended not soon enough, and when I whirled around to bolt out of the Courtroom and down the street to my office before I was criticized and mortified any further, I was aghast when I saw that the Courtroom was standing room only.  I had never been so humiliated in my life!

After rapidly exiting the Courthouse, I sprinted down the sidewalk to my law firm, flew past the receptionist and into my office, closed the door and burst into tears.  How could I EVER show my face at that Courthouse again???  That Judge was SO MEAN!!!!

More tears.

I had failed.  I had lost.

I was thinking, “Of course the Senior Partner did not want to go to Court defend that motion, he probably knew all along that we would LOSE!!!!” Maybe, maybe not! It’s irrelevant.

Oh well, live and learn!  As embarrassing as this incident was at the time, and as completely ridiculous as it is as I think about it now, I did learn from it.  Besides learning that I should have spent more time at home with my toddler instead of at work, I learned that I need to have thick skin if I want to be a trial attorney (they do, after all, prepare us for humiliation very well in law school), I learned that “pride cometh before a fall,” and I learned that I must look at the “whole picture” instead of focusing only on my point of view.  These lessons were emblazoned on my brain, and I remember them perfectly to this day!  These lessons have made me a better mother, a better attorney, and a better person.

I was baptized by fire.

I did learn and grow on many different levels through this one experience, both personally and professionally.  This incident, and many others like it, has helped to mold me into the person I am today.

I love the definition of the phrase “baptism by fire” that I found on the Yahoo! Answers page:  “In normal language, it means achievement through extreme hardship.”

In our common, everyday language, when we say that someone was “baptized by fire” we are saying that they have learned something through trial and adversity.  This phrase rings especially true when we don’t fully anticipate the mental and emotional ordeal we will be facing, which is often the case when brave soldiers go to war (PTSD), or, for example, when we find ourselves battling it out with the one person we promised to love,  honor and cherish ‘til death do us part.

From a Judeo-Christian perspective, “Fire” can be used to symbolize the presence of God (Moses and the burning bush, and God leading the Israelites through the desert at night in a pillar of fire), or it can refer to the fire of hell (ouch!).

However you want to interpret its meaning, I bet that I’m not the only one who’s had a “baptism by fire” moment. Don’t we all have those everyday, unpleasant struggles in life—the fires of life?

The question is, what will I do with each fire in my life? Will I see it as a necessary learning experience that makes me stronger and wiser? Will I let it destroy me, leaving a scorched body or a pile of ashes behind? What I do with it is entirely up to me. I can interpret the fiery trial either way.

Parents can tell their children “dos and don’ts” until they are blue in the face, but sometimes it takes a child just one slight touch of a hot burner on a stove in order to learn a lesson!   Sometimes it takes experiencing that extreme hardship to learn and grow.  We become “seasoned” and better when we successfully endure difficulties.

Sometimes we have to suffer through extreme hardship in order to achieve things we never would have achieved without the lessons learned from the fire, and in order to fulfill a greater purpose for our lives.

Sometimes the fiery situations of our lives re-direct us as we travel the path of life.  We might be going the wrong way if left to our own devices, however, a fiery intervention can change our direction mighty quick! Don’t you agree?

Diving Deeper:  Think of at least one experience you have had that you would describe as a fiery trial in your life?   What did you learn from it?  What good came out of it? How did it shape who you are today?  How can you use what you learned from that experience to help someone else?

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